moon in my heart
“Beauty is a form of genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon.” (oscar wilde)
this morning as i walked from my house to the bus stop, i smelled the damp earth, the verdant green, the lush state of a world awakened and tears sprung to my eyes as my senses took it all in. today there is a mist of rain turning the pavement the same colour as the river as green engulfes the splattering of houses hidden in the dance of new life.
there is so much i have wanted to share and yet i have been finding it somehow easier to pick up the phone and talk to a friend, to giggle at smiles within touching distance.
“i had one of those moments on saturday as i was shooting a wedding, one of those moments where in the midst of incredible busy with cameras and lens hanging off me as i crouched and moved and captured moments of beauty, one of those moments of pure utter bliss. it is so amazing to be doing something that makes you so happy, that gives you insight into the world around you and the world inside of you. it is good to know with absolute certainty that life can feel so amazingly right.”
“we worked hard on the weekend, digging and cleaning and my garden is filled with tomatoes, spinich, lettuce, leeks and onions, squash and zuchinni, pickling cucumbers and brocolli and brussel sprouts, bits of coloured flowers and sprouts of perennials planted last year. i have pots filled with bright colour scattered around my yard and a lawn that has been thatched and seeded and green scent beauty of growth surrounds me. My body is tired and my legs ache but joy fills my heart.”
“the double blossoming plum tree (our forever babies tree) has tiny little blossoms covering her branches and i see henry and eliot smiling down on me. sometimes tears still spring to my eyes seemingly for no reason but not because i have lost so much but rather because i was given so much. i feel blessed that those two little soul babies came into my life and touched my heart and bled the grief and pain from me as they died in my arms. they have given me more of myself than i could have possibly hoped for in this lifetime. they have helped me to discover how to be happy. there is an irony there that i don’t know that i can explain, perhaps that is a post all in its own someday, perhaps not.”
“the moon hangs in the sky, patched with darkness, filling our planet with light and i stand barefoot in the dew wet grass and stare at the sky and feel the earth move through me. so much pain and suffering, anger and desparation, loss and bitterness washed in the blood of someone else’s pain. and yet, so much beauty and love, hope and care, a bursting of emotion washed in the cool breeze of belief. i see the darkness and choose the light. i see the ugly and choose the beauty. i see the anger and choose the pain. i see me and choose hope and love; happiness and joy.”
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