i spent the weekend
contemplating the sunshine
enjoying the angles of
light
as i lazed about

i find the words inside my head
quick to float across the beams
that spill onto the floor
and dance across my walls

i have been entranced with the shape and shade of a thought
as tears form and drip down a cheek of smiling care

i have been emotional about the hue of colour
that bursts out across a tulips breathe

and since i can’t seem to find a way to talk about it all
in any sort of manner that finds itself strewn across a coherent sentence
i have decided to take part in napowrimo

last year i also participated so that i could escape the pain that april brought, the memory of a loss too fresh. that loss is still there stained beneath my heart that beats and i find myself emotional as spring slowly awakes the earth bringing to life all that has lain dormant and yet i find too much to celebrate in the air i breathe to dwell in that pain for too long. so this year i hope to bring my words here to celebrate my memories while giving life to my future.

besides … i have spent too much time lazing in the sun
letting my words and thoughts blow in the breeze
whispering
when i feel the need to
sing.

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” (thich nhat hanh)

my shoes walked through a field of grass, yellow straw-like grass not yet awake, soggy in spots and i was reminded of my elementary schoolyard. sitting in the straw-like grass pulling it with tiny fingers to form a little bird’s nest and tying pieces of grass together to form tiny little eggs to sit quietly in the nest as i laid back and stared at the sky and dreamed of cracking open those eggs and flying towards tomorrow. tomorrow is here. i am still dreaming. remembering that first smell of sunlight hitting the grass melted from winter’s long escape.

when the snow is gone, i think i might sit in my backyard and pull at the grass to form a little bird’s nest and tie pieces of grass together to form tiny little eggs. i think i will carry that little nest down to the river’s edge and let it go as i lay in the grass and stare at the sky and feel the sunlight warm my face as i remember that tomorrow is here.

“This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted” (c.s. lewis)

i had such a beautiful weekend and i don’t feel the least bit guilty about the fact that i was completely and utterly selfish about it all, selfish in the best kind of way. i made some jewelry just for me, not to sell but just to wear because i am worth it and really that is why i started making jewelry in the first place, it made me feel good and i got something beautiful to wear at the end of it all. i ate chocolate and ice cream and indulged in an east indian buffet that cost far too much money but was worth the laughter and love. i watched girl movies*, curled up in flannel and cried my eyes out at the sadness and joy and bittersweet love grateful for the love that i have in my life. i took photographs and made yummy breakfasts and dinners. i went out for coffee and wandered bead stores and book stores and the corners of my mind. we costed out replacing our front steps which tilt rather alarmingly and building a beautiful little cedar deck in the back yard and i envision fairy lights and warm nights and candle’s glow. i started planning my garden and which rose bushes to plant and where they should go. i lit a candle for my sister and remembered her smiles and wondered at my losses but felt somehow at peace. i relaxed into myself and thought of things i wanted to do and they all centred around people i love and places i live, words i wanted to dip my pen into scratched on paper journals and colours i wanted to drip on canvas outside in sunlight’s dance. i watched the snow melt from my front yard and noticed that it was starting to shrink in the back. i breathed in time and discovered that sometimes i don’t need to do a thing but love myself and the world circles beautifully.

*becoming jane; atonement; the jane austen book club and margot at the wedding

Inspired by the collaboration of 3191 and slightly frustrated by the fact that I can’t just meet up with my beautiful friend Jen for coffee in any given moment, we have decided to collaborate on a photo project so we can share bits of our daily moments with each other.

We decided sometime in the wee hours of last night that since I was going to be sitting around in my pajamas all day enjoying the start of my four day weekend, I would put together our photoblog collaboration. Bright and early this morning. Well, bright and early for Jen because she had to work and a little less bright and early for me since I got to sleep in, we both took our first photos. We agreed that she would send me her photo and I wouldn’t look at it until I had taken mine. So imagine how incredibly thrilled I was to pull up her photo and look at the two side by side and realize how incredibly well they went together.

Each week, we will pick a theme and each day we will take a moment to capture that theme and connect for a moment in time. At the end of the day, this photoblog of ours is about our friendship and building a memory of our lives, separated by distance but brought together through the very medium in which we first connected.

Jen has made a super cool badge which I just have to share. You can click on the badge below to see our new photoblog site called ’shared moments’. We will be posting every single day and I am excited to see how our photos work together as time goes by. The theme this week is ‘in the house’.

For a while now I have been wanting to showcase some of the amazing artisitic bloggers that I … well … simply adore! My house is filled with the art of bloggers and when friends, family, musicians and various other people who find themselves in my house see the artwork that covers my walls and every available surface, they are always blown away by the incredible talent. I love that I can say that I kind of know the artist even if we have never actually met in person … yet.

I want to start with the beautiful Nicole, otherwise known as n.elle.

I met Nicole through her blog, sometimes everything girl last year sometime and was amazed at her beautiful poetic writing and brave self portraiture. Watching her grow as a photographer has been incredibly inspiring to me and as I watched her confidence grow and her photography reflect that confidence, I was often reduced to tears and joy and jump up and down and clap my hand happy.

Not only is she incredibly talented but she has a beautiful wide open heart and she is so incredibly giving. And let me tell you, she gives beauty,

I found the above photo in my mailbox over Christmas and I was so thrilled because it was a photograph that I had recently admired.

Shortly after she opened her etsy shop, I purchased this beauty which hangs in my quirky downstairs bathroom, the very bathroom that also houses bookcases of books. I like me some whimsy. This bathroom gets a lot of use as not only is our guest bedroom downstairs but the music studio also lives downstairs and this photograph needs to be seen as it is such an incredible work of art.

A week or so ago, I came home to find this in my mailbox,

and it made me feel so good on a crazy work day when I most needed a love note. What a beautiful surprise. How could she have possibly known that this would shift my perspective when I most needed that shift. And then I recently discovered that she is selling these beautiful little handmade love cards for $1.00 on her etsy. Oh yes, I fully intend on buying some, its always good to have a love card hanging around when someone needs a perk.

I must confess that I was thrilled, beyond thrilled really, when I won a cool little contest in which I won a free six month membership to her brilliant photo of the month club which you can purchase yearly or for six months at a time. I was planning on purchasing a six month so am thrilled that I have six months free because that means I will get a photo a month for the next 12 months. I am a lucky lucky girl.

Here was my first beauty,

I can’t wait to see what she does next. Places you can visit Nicole include:

*n.elle’s photos on flickr
*sometimes everything, the blog
*shopping at n.elle images on etsy

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.” (charles dickens)

I am enjoying the contradictions that March blows into my soul as I live in the spring time of my dance. I am feeling languid and busy; bright and dark; wistful, nostalgic and hopeful and yearning. And as always, enjoying the music that dances me through the days.

Tonight while I sleep, spring will creep in and that is more than reason enough to celebrate. The sunshine and blue skies, snow melting and a four day long weekend help too.

Happy Spring!!

“St. Patrick’s Day is an enchanted time - a day to begin transforming winter’s dreams into summer’s magic.” (adrienne cook)

I dreamed a lot of dreams this winter, how about you? Lets start making some magic!

“Hope is the dream of a soul awake.” (french proverb)

*photo can be clicked for larger viewing

*love this amazing interview where gala darling interviews mike dooley, the creator of notes from the universe.

Just put yourself ahead in time, Darlene, pretend that it’s next month already, and imagine that the past 4 or so weeks just totally rocked. Every hope you now possess for the coming weeks has manifested. Every challenge was breezed through. Every cool person stayed cool, every trickster became an ally, there were happy surprises along the way, and, you got plenty of sleep.This is how we do it.

Kung Fu - The Universe

I have been getting notes from the universe for almost a year now and recently I have been working towards bringing my dreams into the reality of my life and I have to say that I am moving slowly but surely and opportunities have been presenting themselves to me and I have been grabbing them. Listening to this interview really made me smile because it talks about the baby steps and how that ’stirs up the magic’. I have to say that I am enjoying this journey that I am on and while it is not a perfect life devoid of challenges, it is my journey and most days, it is feeling pretty perfect to me filled with calm peace and passion, laughter and tears, hope and vision, excitement and frustration all rolled up into a whole lot of love.

Last night I talked on the phone for a good five hours to my best girlfriend and she inspired me in ways that I cannot really describe but there is something about spending time (even if that time cannot be in person) with people who really get you and love you and want you to succeed that helps to put things into perspective. I appreciate that as I have not always had that in my life and today I find myself full of optimism and hope and I keep finding further inspiration as I travel through my day. I love how that happens and realize that I definitely seem to attract to myself whatever it is that I am feeling. [personal aside (because this is my blog and i can do that): Thank you my dear beautiful friend for listening to me, laughing with me, raging with me and for helping me to see just a little bit differently ... I am so grateful for our friendship.]

I have had a rough couple of weeks in that work has been extremely busy and a bit chaotic and I have been reeling from headaches brought on I suspect from the stress that swirls around me. On the weekend, a friend of mine passed away suddenly and unexpectedly and I find myself worried about other friends while dealing with the shock of it all. Within all that, however, there have been bright moments of beauty as I watch spring dance outside and I free myself of bulky winter coats. Within all that, I have had beautiful moments with my family, beautiful moments with friends, beautiful moments with myself. I am grateful to those moments and grateful to the beauty, inspiration and hope that swirls around me.

peace.

Dear Time,

Where do you go as the snow melts backwards into the ground and patches of water flow through river’s ice? Where did you wander as I raced through deadline driven days filled with mangled paperclips gnashed against my teeth as last year’s blades of grass emerged in a patchwork quilt of snow and straw? Where did you live while I sat in peaceful bliss as incense drifted against the glow of candles and the sound of live music wafted up from my basement while I was treated to my own personal interlude as I giggled on the phone with a beautiful friend? What do I think about you when you stop for another friend suddenly out of the blue and I am left eyes wide open wondering how someone so young is forced to leave this world so abrubtly as I touch the sunbeams that float in the air and breathe in my life now? Where did you dance as I laughed with family and friends, enjoyed wandering in spicy aroma lingering over silk’s soft glint and painted comfort in a room for rest?

Dearest Time, you sprung ahead and cleared my head as you reminded me that each second of each minute is precious and can be taken away in the turn of a wave, the dream of a sleep. Dearest time, I cherish you as you sing to me in leaves whispered thought and the cycle of spring’s renewal and I give gratitude for my life right now, embrace you as I move through my days and evening and love you as fully as I can.

much love,
dar

Dear internet,

I didn’t mean to be away for as long as I was. Time had other plans for me. Thank you for your emails and thoughts, your concern for my absence. It is always nice to know that you care. I am fine, just busy with life and hopefully Time will allow me a little space to come here to rest my words and share some of my moments.

xox

dar